I’m a bad mom

I’m a stay at home mom with my two kids. My toddler just turned two and I have the baby. I am finding myself getting very angry with my toddler.

She is actually a pretty well behaved kid and for the most part doesn’t get in to things she shouldn’t but she’s sooo whiny and I can’t take it. If she wants something it’s “eh eh eh eh” and she never just says what she wants even though she knows the words for it. I have to guess and every wrong guess she gets whinier and will usually cry if I don’t guess fast enough. When I get it right, the whining stops immediately.

She also will whine if I’m in the middle of something and won’t stop until I’m done with what I’m doing. Even if I acknowledge her and tell her I will help her soon or ask her to wait a minute, she will keep whining or throw a tantrum until I stop what I’m doing and give her what she wants.

She also cries and throws a fit if she doesn’t get her way. Wants milk and I’m busy? Tantrum. Wants a snack and I say “no”? Tantrum. Changing her diaper? Tantrum.

It’s gotten so much worse in the last month and by the end of the day I’m drained and beyond over it. I find myself getting angry when she starts the whining and I’m definitely raising my voice with her more often. I try to avoid timeout because she’s not actually misbehaving or doing anything wrong but sometimes I just want to close her in her room until she stops (which she doesn’t. She will literally cry until she vomits).

I feel so guilty that I feel and act this way. I don’t want her to be scared of me and she already likes and listens to dad more so I know my temper will just make it worse. But I’m tired, have a baby to take care of, have so many household chores that I try to get done throughout the day so I’m not up until midnight doing them, and have so many things on my to do list that are taking mental space, that I just can’t cope with this too.

Please tell me it gets better and please tell me I haven’t traumatized my child by raising my voice with her.