How do I unfuck myself from being a workaholic? (Accidentally went too far with self-improvement)
I used to be the king of laziness. Turns out, I overcorrected so hard I became addicted to working. Like, I was a professional procrastinator:
- Spent entire weekends gaming and ordering takeout
- Called being unemployed "finding myself"
- Made endless to-do lists I never looked at
- Watched productivity videos while doing nothing
- Bought planners that stayed empty for months
None of it changed because I was lying to myself. I wasn't actually stuck - I was comfortable being useless. Then I started using this productivity tracking thing that forced me to confront my bullshit. For once, I wasn't just consuming motivational content - I was getting real data about how I spent my time.
The harsh truth? I wasn't failing because of ADHD or "the system." I was failing because:
- I blamed my circumstances instead of my choices
- I used "self-care" as an excuse to be lazy
- I was addicted to the comfort of having "potential"
Real change started when I stopped making excuses and started working. But I went too far. Now:
- Work is literally all I think about
- Can't enjoy weekends because "I should be productive"
- Only hobby is working out (because gains = measurable progress)
- Lost touch with friends because socializing feels "inefficient"
- Can't watch a movie without feeling guilty
- Check emails at 3AM "just in case"
The biggest mindfuck? I'm more successful than ever but probably more miserable than when I was lazy. At least back then I could enjoy doing nothing. Now I can't enjoy anything except hitting work targets and PR's at the gym.
How do I find balance? I'm terrified of becoming lazy again, but this isn't healthy either. I finally learned how to work hard, but I forgot how to just... live.
Anyone else overcome this? How do you stay disciplined without becoming obsessed?