My Husband Doesn’t Understand My Feelings, and It’s Breaking Me

I had a small but hurtful interaction with my mother-in-law, and it led to a fight with my husband that made me feel completely unheard and invalidated.

It started when I was chatting with her. She mentioned that her elder son’s friend got married in a palace in India. I responded, saying I know three people who also got married in a palace. She replied, “I don’t know any”—and then just stopped at “ok.” It felt so cold, like she was shutting down the conversation.

I told my husband about it, and he just brushed it off, saying, “That’s just how she talks.” But that wasn’t the point. I felt dismissed. I told him that it hurt because she doesn’t know me, and she doesn’t care how I feel. And then my own husband, the one person who should understand me, did the same—telling me I was overreacting.

Then he left the room, came back, and warned me, “Say one more word, and I’ll also say something.” I asked him what he meant, and he said, “I don’t want your family to visit.”

That broke me. I started crying uncontrollably, and instead of comforting me, he just kept saying, “You cry all the time.” It didn’t feel like he even cared. Worse, it felt like he was defending his mother instead of understanding why I was upset.

Later, I went out for coffee with a friend. He didn’t text me at all. When I came back, I apologized, telling him I shouldn’t have blamed him for his mother’s behavior. His response? “I’m sleepy.” He just dismissed everything like it didn’t matter.

He then said, “I look forward to the weekend, and we just fight.” Like it’s my fault. Like I’m ruining everything.

I just want him to love me. I want to feel understood. Instead, I feel like I’m being tortured emotionally.

Am I overreacting? Is it too much to ask for my husband to just get how I feel?