Are you grieving all your feminist ideals?

I was having a chat in the Daddit sub, and one thing that came up is moms being so angry at their partners no matter what they do.

I think for myself it originated from realizing how absolutely unequal women and men are when it comes to the reality of pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding/pumping.

There are lots of things that can be shared but these fundamentally CAN’T.

It somewhat enrages me because I feel like I was sold this feminist dream, and yet in reality my hormones are running the ship, my body is a VESSEL and literally feels like it does not belong to me some days, and I feel like nothing my husband could do could possibly overcome that I’ve become a shell of who I once was (and yes I know this is also PPD).

It’s frustrating to have worked so hard to fight stereotypes in the workplace of women being emotional, unstable, too focused on family priorities, and then arrive to have kids and literally BE emotional, unstable, and too focused on family priorities because you actually have to be.

It feels like there was no point in fighting for so long and I should have just given up and had kids sooner instead of thinking there was some form of universe where men and women shared an equal load, because it’s impossible with kids.

Sorry if this is a triggering topic - this is my own grief and anger coming out and it’s not necessarily correct, as I said it’s also coloured with PPD.

But beyond this, I mean, how are you former (or current) feminists actually moving forward? I am lost, I feel like all my resistance to discrimination was futile, but giving in to traditional roles is just so contrary to who I am.

I’d love some resources, strategies, etc that helped.