“Friendzoning” makes me absolutely furious.

I don’t click with most people, so it absolutely breaks my heart when I think I’ve made a good friend, I think someone is finally interested in spending time with me just because we enjoy each others company, only to realize they have feelings and are expecting more than a friendship and that they never would have gotten to know me if they hadn’t wanted something more. That hurts enough, but the thing that makes me really fucking furious is the way our society frames those kinds of scenarios…

Instead of framing it as: a man and a woman became friends, the woman was happy to have an honest friendship, the man was dishonest and actually wanted to fuck her and threw a hissy fit when he realized she didn’t want to fuck him too;

It’s (for some fucking reason) framed as: a man and a woman became friends, the woman led the man on (by being friendly, as, you know, FRIENDS do) the man falls in love with her, and she brutally breaks his heart by “friendzoning” him - she’s such a bitch!

WHY the FUCK is friendzoning phrased as a negative thing that a woman does to a man when THE MAN IS THE ONE PUTTING UNSOLICITED EXPECTATIONS ON THE FRIENDSHIP?? For fucks sake it pisses me off so badly. I already have a difficult time clicking with people and forming deep friendships, and this shit makes it so much harder because I am always so afraid to allow myself to get close to a man, for the fear that they’ll want something more and then tell everyone I’m some flirty slut for not wanting to sleep with him, even though that was never something I’d even hinted at before.

Sorry for the long post. I’m just so sick of women always taking the blame for a man’s inability to control his own emotions. People will say a girl has “daddy issues” as an insult even though it’s her father who left. People make fun of single mothers and their “bad decisions” even when it’s the man who is avoiding responsibility. Young girls are told to cover up to avoid being a “temptation” when it’s the men who are tempted. And, of course, women are blamed of “friendzoning” when it’s the man who secretly changed the expectations of the friendship and got upset when they weren’t met. A gazillion more examples exist, I’m sure.

(Note: I know friendzoning isn’t exclusive to male/female friendships, they’re just the ones I’ve experienced so they’re the ones I’m venting about.)

Anyways, vent over. I’m just so pissed.