I am coward for not ending my misery

I've got total anhedonia/emotional blunting from schizophrenia which means there are literally zero chances of recovery. In fact I can feel the blunting getting progressively worse.

For some time I thought I was staying alive for my child, but I've come to realise that even my child would be better off if I was dead. With the anhedonia and emotional blunting I can't be much of father anyway - and I believe it would be much better for my child to not having to grow up with a father who is basically just a vegetable.

The truth is the only reasonable, logical, honorable and sane course of action is to end my misery as soon as possible. This has nothing to do with life.

The only reason I'm still here is because I am a coward who haven't got the guts to end it. And I am angry with myself because of this (I can feel a little bit anger as the only emotion)