Wanting to quit breastfeeding as I hate that my partner has input/control of my body

UPDATE: thanks to everyone who responded. I set the boundary last night and sent him some research. I have taken a “pick your battles” approach for boundaries, which I realize isn’t helping, because it builds resentment until I end up snapping at him. I’m going to try a more grounded and consistent approach to boundary setting. I’m also going to remind him that if he wants to control health risks, he can focus on his smoking intake. I’m also going to encourage him to get back in touch with his therapist because his behaviour around his anxiety is affecting everyone.

My partner has a lot of health anxiety and it’s been tough. Even pregnant, I found it difficult. Ie disapproving of me drinking kombucha (shamed me so I put it back on the shelf) due to its tiny alcohol content. My midwife later said it was fine and one even recommended it for the probiotic benefit. He was also upset at me for eating McDonald’s once.

Today he told me he doesn’t want me drinking while breastfeeding. To be clear, I don’t drink, hardly ever. But we are going to a cabin he said he wanted to have a beer, so I said I wanted to have a drink at the pub too. He asked “can you drink and breastfeed though?” Googled it; then tells me he’s not comfortable with that and I need to feed her pumped milk. I was planning to breastfeed first, have the drink, and wait as long as baby would let me to feed again, as per recommended. He insists I should be pumping and feeding her from my very small freezer stash. I hear his concerns, and respect them. But it’s infuriating that he even gets to have a say in my body. Infuriating that he doesn’t trust my judgement, I’m a registered nurse! Infuriating that he smokes tobacco, cannabis, and vapes. I make healthy decisions 99.9% of the time. I just wanted to be able to have a drink without explaining/defending myself and have him trust that I wouldn’t do anything that would harm the baby.

He even questioned my medication once: it was a nipple cream, prescription by my midwife, for breastfeeding. And he asked if it was safe? Then monitored the number of days I was on it and ensured I stopped at the 10 day max. It’s infuriating to not be in control of my own health.

Ugh. I give up.