Helping a dad support his wife/family better

Bio: My wife and I have a daughter who is nearly 3 years old. Long story short: my wife has always been the primary care-taker even though we both work. At nearly every waking hour, my wife is either doing something with our daughter, or thinking about it. I don't think that way, and I'm wondering what to do about it.

We have been successful splitting up some of the work. For instance, in the morning my wife will get our daughter up, dressed, teeth brushing, etc while I make coffee and get breakfast ready. She drops our kid off in the morning at daycare, and I pick her up in the evening. My wife usually preps dinner while I'm picking her up. I clean up dinner while my wife and daughter play.

We divide the evenings: I do the baths and night time routine every other day. My wife takes the opposite nights (no baths).

However: my wife is literally orchestrating the rest of our lives: finding weekend events, buys the stuff my daughter needs (clothes, toys, etc).

My wife has constantly asked for me to do more so she doesn't have to be the main planner. I often ask about how I can help, but she gets frustrated saying she is exhausted and doesn't want to constantly be explaining it. I am more of a list/spreadsheet guy, but she isn't.

Now I admit that I am not nearly thinking about this stuff as much as my wife. Am I a deadbeat? No. Could I take more burden? Absolutely.

Have any other dads figured this out? Like my wife IS always thinking a few steps ahead and I can barely think for myself right now.