Breastfeeding guilt?

For context I am a ex super crunchy mum to 5 and I have enjoyed breastfeeding mostly still feeding my 21 month old. I have breastfed 4 of my children exclusively and extended into toddlerhood ( my 4th son passed away shortly after birth ) he would have been ebf aswell. I am now in the process of about to start TTC and I honestly don't want to breastfeed while I do love it , it does definitely effect my mental health ALOT I have played around with the idea of offering the next baby colostrum and pumping for 2x feeds a day and formula feeding the rest but I feel so GUILTY about it and worry I'll regret it but I also really just don't want to breastfeed I feel like I'll enjoy the whole experience more if I don't. Anyone on here decide not to breastfeed after ebf their other children? How did you handle the guilt? I really don't know what to do.