This shit will literally kill me I just know it

So I have OCD pretty bad and I'm currently obsessed over the sensation of being trapped in my skull and also being in general just obsessed and terrified that I'm even conscious and that it feels like I'm the only conscious being in existence, and this is causing me to literally be in a 24/7 state of absolute panic, I'm completely incapacitated by it to the point of just lying in bed all day and night desperately trying to get sleep because it's the only time I get relief from this terror (even though this shit sometimes still follows me in my dreams), the only time I can catch my breath is when I can get sleep or when I'm drunk

What I don't understand is how is it possible for a panic attack to just NEVER stop, it literally HASN'T stopped it just continues and continues until I either go sleep or get drunk (which I've been doing a fucking lot, because it also stops me from freaking the fuck out about my own consciousness), there's never any period of peace from this constant terror, there's never any point where it subsides, it's just constant panic attack level anxiety every single second I'm awake

The actual fear is fucking terrifying, it's beyond just regular standard panic attack, it's the most excrutiating fucking terror I've ever known, in the moment it feels like Literally no other person in the history of earth has EVER been as terrified as me or has felt this level of terror, that's how fucking bad it is, all just because Ive fucking thought too much about solipsism and consciousness and probably gained some type of awareness that I shouldn't have

I don't even know why I'm posting this I just need to know exactly what is happening in my brain neurologically to make me feel constant unending panic, and if anyone else has ever experienced THIS level of absolute terror, im literally so close to ending it it's getting so unbearable